Life::Love

To Give is to Receive

2011-11-30T12:10:00.004-07:00

Ahhhhhh, Christmas..

I cannot believe it has been one whole year since the last holiday season. It seems like just yesterday that we plowed through the crazy, albeit merry, month that is December.

This month, every year, you can find me at the mall, searching for the latest and greatest [insert object] for my little ones, along with countless other parents and aunts and uncles and grandparents. Or in dainty locally owned boutiques, mulling over sparkly, delicate, handmade trinkets for my friends. Or in Best Buy trying to convince myself (or, rather, trying to convince my husband) that we don’t need a new flat-screen television (For the record, I lost that battle!). Or in a coffee shop, picking up gift cards for people who matter but who I’m not close enough with to know what else they might appreciate.

But this year is different. Somehow, spending money on mere things doesn’t feel as good. Indulging in the yearly luxury is fun, but the contentedness ceases to persist. I often think about the little baby girl in the orphanage in Rio and I wonder how she is doing. I wonder if she is getting spoiled this Christmas. And, mostly, I wish I could be the one spoiling her.

Not just her, but the rest of the babies and small children there. They all deserve something special. My heart fractures a little more every time I think about them on Christmas morning, unspoiled and parentless.

Yet, simultaneously, I am filled with so much happiness as I survey my own children overflowing with delight.

My perspective has changed, and I wonder what I can do to help. And, more importantly, I wonder how I can help my own kids to have compassion for those less fortunate and develop a healthy desire to give instead of get.

So, for the rest of December, I am going to carry on as usual, because it’s important to me to provide my family with comfortable traditions and special memories; these are the things that keep a family strong. But I will also look for every opportunity to serve others who don’t have as much as I do, but deserve even more. I will commit to teaching my kids the infinite pleasure that comes along with giving. And I will reach beyond the security of my own little world and be aware of the needs of the people around me, be it down the block or in another country entirely.

And I hope to inspire you all to do the same. I mean, look at these faces......

We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.

- Winston Churchill

*Top photo taken by Jarrod Renaud

The Best "Overheard" Ever.

2011-11-09T19:05:00.003-07:00

This is what I have to deal with people. I have had a lot of these over the years, but this is BY FAR the best. This dialogue was taken today from an actual dictation from an actual dictator in the middle of a job. Excuse the language. :)

“Objective Findings: Neurovascular status intact bilaterally.”

*Phone rings*

“Hello? Heeyy baby, how you doin..? Oh that’s good, your tummy’s fine..great..so, how was your evening?.....Reeeally? Oh that’s nice.....No, I left about 7:45. It was just me and the tumbleweeds, man, there was like nobody on the road. I think people stayin away....What?...Oh, they closed it down? I don’t even know what they did. So it worked out fine.......I had some dinner, I watched some sports, I d**ked around on the computer, and that’s it.....yeeeahhh........I owe you a dollar.....laughs*...I’m givin you the dollar baby. That’s what I do, man. That way, you know, I don’t have any debts baby. Gotta eliminate the debts. I wanna live DEBT FREE! Like, who’s that guy on the radio..he’s also on the TV, he does a talk show about being debt free. I’m not talking like....... [insert name] does that s**t though....what’s her deal, huh? Yeaahhh.. So, uumm, yeah...........just doin some work here. Did you hear the guy talking about the alternative medicine treatment?.....Was it interesting?.....I don’t know who these people are or where they find them, they’re kooky. You know what I mean.....I think I saw Fidel Castro when I was driving home. I didn’t know they invited Caribbean communists here. I’m all up in my Nikes, man........So I’m gunna look for a brown belt on Friday.........I sent you emails........you just too good to hang out with me at your big event, trying to move up the corporate ladder *laughs*. What’s the name of that sheister attorney? I really wanna know who this f***in punk is, [insert name]. *Looking up online*.....Yeah, we gotta get somethin else to put in that freakin omelet.......*reading bio*.......you take those little sausages and put that in there....*reading bio* ....yeah I’m looking forward to it...............So, ahh, what did you have for dinner?.....You soak your chicken thighs in soy sauce overnight? Is that how you make that stuff?........Attorney profile, let’s see if we got this... (in deep sarcastic voice) The law offices of [insert name]. Let’s see what we got. It looks like he’s from Chicago....What a f***in sheister man......yeeahh, you see that thing, he’s got the tan goin, he got the chains, the open shirt.....What the f***, they ran him out of Chicago? F***in, he probably spent 3 years in prison for f***in milking clients out of their money and overcharging and s**t like in the movie The Firm...remember that?.......Huh? You never saw the movie The Firm?......You ever read the book?......The first 50 pages are outstanding. It’s like one of those you can’t put down, even I said that..............so what’s shakin baby? You be hanging your American flag on Veteran’s Day man? Why don’t you come up and shake my hand and thank me for being a Veteran of the United States *laughs*............You not gunna do that? How you gonna be like that? It’s like, way to be an American...............huh baby...........mmmhhmmmm......yes, I had a lot of free time last night....yeeahhh it was good...........................................Oh....did this hang up on me? I think I f***ed up the dictation.”

*Hangs up.*

Ya think?!?

**No names, no locations, and no patient or confidential information are contained in this document.

How much is TOO much?

2011-08-22T11:38:00.003-06:00

Today marks the beginning of a busy fall season. Aside from the already full days of work and school, my kids and I, once again, will be spending a lot of time at Longmont Dance Theatre. I will be working in the office there 3 times a week to help with tuition, and the girls have basically sold their souls to dance, taking multiple classes a week.

Before this year I have never allowed Mikayla (9) to take more than 2 required classes at a time. The level of ballet she has been placed in requires her to participate in 2 ballet classes a week plus a modern class to maintain status in the pre-professional ballet program. She also wants to try some other styles of dance, including tap, jazz, and hip hop. This semester she is attempting to take 5 classes a week plus Nutcracker rehearsals almost every weekend. Too much?!?!

Let's make something clear: I do not expect her to make a career out of dance, nor do I push her to remain in the pre-professional program. I have left it up to her, and this is what she wants to do with her spare time. I keep going back and forth between thinking that perhaps this is too much for her. I've always frowned upon loading kids up to their ears with extra stuff, especially during the school year when their education should be the primary focus.

But here's the thing: I believe that all kids should be involved in something that they love to do, be it sports, music, academics, dance...Given the appropriate surroundings, I believe it strengthens their mind, their body, and even their soul. It lends them something to pour their efforts into and doesn't let them have time to be bored or finicky. It helps them develop a positive outlook on life and builds their character. It keeps them fit. Some might even call it a healthy addiction.

I for one am thrilled that my daughters, and even my son, have inherited the same love for dance that I possess. It benefits me as well, since by being fortunate enough to be able to work to pay their tuition, I also get to see them blossom in their skill and be present as they do it. And as long as they are happy and not suffering in other areas, I've come to the conclusion that I don't mind if they want to fill their time with dance.

Thoughts?

INK.

2011-08-16T12:13:00.005-06:00

So... I got a tattoo. And not just a little tattoo. A HUGE tattoo. A lovely tattoo. It will take some getting used to, this massive, even somewhat intimidating, piece of artwork on my back, but I am thoroughly enjoying it. Here's why:

Its concept and original art was contrived by yours truly

By no means do I dare to call myself an artist, but when I was younger I used to draw a lot (in times of boredom, like, in math class :D ). This piece was inspired by an old tattoo that I had gotten a couple years ago that I just did not feel was complete. It was tiny, for one, and it held no significance to me. This tiny little tattoo became the center of the blue flower, and the concept just spawned from there. Of course, Jeremy doctored it up and made it look a bit more professional.

My draft:

Jeremy's draft:

It represents my family

There are 3 flowers, one for each of my kids. Their respective flower has their first initial next to it and is shaded with their favorite color.

It was done by a friend

...The one and only Jeremy Finch, who for just starting out has shown incredible talent. One of the only reasons I had not already gotten a bigger tattoo was the inconvenience, and my severe particularity.. I needed to be sure that I trusted the person who would permanently scar me for life, (in the literal sense!) and, having known Jeremy for so long I knew he would do his best to make it what I wanted, and not what was easiest or most convenient for him (5 hours later!). I also know that I am now a walking advertisement for him, which I hope is beneficial for him in the long run.

And for those of you who are wondering...yes, it hurt. :)

Life::Love

2011-08-12T12:25:00.002-06:00

It's been almost exactly 2 years since my last blog post. The ease of Twitter with 140-character updates and the sense of connection on Facebook have been partly to blame. I suppose I just got lazy too. But I'm back, and, don't worry, I have a lot to talk about. :)

xoxo

The best gift ever..

2009-07-05T22:15:00.004-06:00

A couple of young teenage girls I know decided they wanted to bless me by coming to my house and watching my kids, every week in the summer, free of charge. These sweet girls have earned more respect from me in one week than most adults do over long periods of time. I am so grateful for their help, as I was about ready to check myself into a mental facility just before they offered to help me, with this summer being more difficult than summers past with work and having the kids home. Mostly, I feel horrible because the kids want me to hang out with them and do things with them and I can't because I have to get all my work done, not because I'm irritated with them for continuously come down to the basement needing something from me. I mean, I AM their mom, and moms are supposed to meet their kids' needs, right? I WANT to be there for them, especially since the years of them needing me are quickly disappearing..

However, these girls have stepped up and have made sure my kids are well taken care of and having a good time for a couple of hours while I work, and that means so much to me! And it's all out of the kindness of their hearts. That is a rare find and I'm so grateful!

I think we could all learn a little something from this....that serving others in need comes with the greatest reward.

Weddings, & more weddings...

2009-05-24T22:52:00.004-06:00

So far this summer I've been asked to be a bridesmaid in 2 weddings, and have another one to go to as a guest. My little princesses are the flower girls in one of them...they're so excited!

The down side......having to buy 4 dresses all within 2 months' time.....

At least my friends have GREAT taste in dresses. :)

It runs in the family...

2009-05-23T09:07:00.009-06:00

That's me and my dad...cute, right!?!

Kids.

2009-02-23T12:53:00.005-07:00

Recent essay written by my 9-year-old son, Josh.

Without a doubt, brocolli is my least favorite vegetable for many reasons. It looks like a small tree and eating a small tree makes me throw up. Tasting brocolli tastes like dirt from a real tree. The color green from the brocolli is a grass green and it makes me feel like eating grass. Clearly brocolli is my least favorite vegetable.

I would have given anything to see his teacher's reaction on this one!!!!

Karaoke

2009-02-08T22:47:00.005-07:00

Last weekend Mikayla had a sleepover birthday party for her 7th birthday and got a karaoke machine. She and her friends had a blast with it. I also may or may not have had a blast with it. :)

Megan and Ashlyn

Mikayla and Taryne

No Words...

2009-02-08T22:36:00.006-07:00

This past weekend I went up to Estes Park as a leader for a winter retreat with the youth group (SIM) from the church I go to (Vinelife). It totally rocked everyone's worlds. Really, there are no words to fully describe how awesome it truly was, and I'm dead serious about that. People's lives were changed...

However, I do have documentation of some of the activities that took place in the boys' cabin after the girls had left for the night (me and 2 other girl leaders stayed there in a room by ourselves because there wasn't room at the other cabin for us), and I was fortunate enough to be able to capture this...

It's been a long time coming...

2009-01-25T21:59:00.004-07:00

On January 1st, I began something that I have wanted to do for a long time....attempting to read the entire bible, old and new testament, front to back, in one year. I found a really cool website (www.youversion.com) that tells you exactly what books and chapters to read each day. I really like how you read out of both the old and new testament at the same time. Right now, I'm in the middle of Genesis, Psalms, and Matthew. If you haven't read Genesis, you should! I'm finding it fascinating. I've heard all the stories before, but when you read them all together and understand how they tie into one another, it's much more meaningful. And, man, some of the people in those days were messed up!! But it all makes so much sense...

Ice, Ice Baby

2009-01-04T21:05:00.003-07:00

I have been to a Denver Nuggets basketball game exactly once before in life, about 13 years ago when my high school cheer squad participated in a halftime show. What are the odds that I would randomly end up at the "I love the 80's" night game where Vanilla Ice, yes, you read it right..Vanilla Ice performed a couple tunes at halftime. He's for sure not the most talented (or sharpest) dude in the world but as soon as I heard "Alright stop, collaborate and listen..." for a split second I was taken back to 1990, 7th grade, to Alief Middle School in Texas when you couldn't NOT know that song word for word....and here we are, 19 years later, and everyone STILL knows all the lyrics...gotta give him props for that...right!?!

Christmas and NYE '08

2009-01-04T20:25:00.012-07:00

Christmas Eve

She won this in a raffle or something.

Christmas Morning

Mikayla & Taryne: Christmas Morning at the parentals'

New Years' Eve

Mikayla squared

Rockin' Guitar Hero

2009

The Festival of Lights

2008-12-21T21:59:00.007-07:00

Today at sundown marked the first of 8 days of Hanukkah. My mom was raised Jewish, and though we don't celebrate Hanukkah in it's entirety, we have always tried to at least keep some of the traditions alive to show honor and respect to our heritage.

Hanukkah, also known as the Festival of Lights, is an eight-day Jewish holiday commemorating the rededication of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem at the time of the Maccabean Revolt of the 2nd century BCE. Hanukkah is observed for eight nights, starting on the 25th day of Kislev according to the Hebrew calendar, and may occur from late November to late December on the Gregorian calendar. (Wikipedia)

The following are Hanukkah traditions that my family keeps:

Lighting of the Menorah candles. The menorah is a candelabra fashioned to hold 8 candles, along with one "servant" candle (the shamash) used to light the candles, adding one candle, or light, on each night of the holiday, progressing to eight on the final night.
Recitation of blessings in Hebrew. ~Blessing for lighting the candles Barukh ata Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha‑olam, asher kid'shanu b'mitzvotav vetzivanu l'hadlik ner (shel) hanuka. Translation: "Blessed are You, LORD, our God,ruler of the universe, who has sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us to kindle the Hanukkah lights[s]." ~Blessing for the miracles of Hanukkah ‏ Barukh ata Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha‑olam, she‑asa nisim la‑avoteinu ba‑yamim ha‑heim ba‑z'man ha‑ze. Translation: "Blessed are you, LORD, our God, King of the universe, who performed miracles for our ancestors in those days at this time."
Latkes. Latkes are potato pancakes made from finely grated potatoes and eggs and fried in oil. Much time and work goes into preparing these treats, because you have to peel and grate the potatoes and drain out all the starch. Latkes are significant because the oil used to cook the latkes is reminiscent of the oil from the Hanukkah story that kept the Second Temple of ancient Israel lit with a long-lasting flame that is celebrated as a miracle.
Dreidel, (a traditional Hanukkah game), and Hanukkah gelt (chocolate coins). We don't really do these anymore since my grandma passed away, but these have been part of the tradition in the past and when I was a kid.

If you know me, you know that I'm not keen on so-called "religious" activities, as I don't believe that your actions are what get you into heaven...but I do think that keeping cultural traditions such as this is a great way to pass down history through the generations. That said...

Happy Hanukkah!

Nutcracker 2008

2008-12-14T21:12:00.005-07:00

The dance studio had flyers up all over the place about signing up to get your child's professional photo taken in full Nutcracker costuming. Well, of course I was thinking to myself that I would just take a photo of her in her costume when she was wearing it at the ballet. It didn't occur to me until I was dropping her off backstage that I would never see her in her costume to take a picture, besides the time when she was on stage. So I didn't get a picture. I'm hoping to be able to order a couple when they post the professional ones taken at the ballet on the website, provided there are any good ones of her. Lesson learned.

Also, video was taken of Mikayla actually dancing, but we used the video camera instead of the digital camera for the video (imagine that!), and I haven't been able to figure out how to upload the contents of the disc onto the computer, so I have no video to post either.

But here's a picture of the little angel after her performance, in which she did an excellent job. I am so proud (again). Isn't she beautiful...

I...

2008-12-14T21:00:00.004-07:00

...totally led worship by myself on Friday (me, the new fabulous Nord keyboard, a beautiful backup singer, and a little percussion), and it was totally awesome, or so I hear. Don't look at me..I give all the credit to my creator.

That's it.

Ashlyn's dance recital debut, and other randoms.

2008-12-07T21:35:00.010-07:00

Today Ashlyn participated in her first dance recital! She did awesome. And, next Saturday, Mikayla will dance as an angel in LDT's version of "The Nutcracker". We have a heck of a week in front of us...rehearsals almost every night...

In other news, we finally decked out the house for Christmas. We got a smaller tree this year (on accident); turns out I'm liking the ease of decorating one that's not so massive. Now if only I could knock out the shopping part just as fast..

I'm going to a fondue get-together with a couple friends tomorrow night...should be fun.

I'm helping lead worship twice this week.

Josh has a choir concert on Thursday.

I think Tuesday is the only night I don't have anything planned.

Also, another reason I haven't been blogging as much is because I've been trying to read more, usually just before I go to sleep, which is the only time I had before to blog. A friend lent me Blue Like Jazz, by Donald Miller, and Velvet Elvis, by Rob Bell (yes, I know I'm a little behind in the times!!..). I'm halfway through Velvet Elvis right now and really appreciating Rob's perspective...mostly...
One thing that stuck out to me was his knowledge of biblical history and how he set the scene for circumstances that happened in the bible by filling the reader in on the the background of Jewish history and how it relates to Jesus and his role as a Jewish rabbi. It's all very interesting and informative and leads to a deeper understanding of why Jesus did some of the things he did and the implications of his actions. I don't know how else to explain it, other than to tell you to read the book yourself.

Everything around breakin' down in chaos...

2008-11-20T09:38:00.003-07:00

It's been a while since my last post, and in a moment you'll understand why. It's not that I don't have any thoughts on anything meaningful; quite the opposite in fact. Last weekend I attended a simulcast at church that really moved me. I could blog about that. The week before that our new president was elected, and I could certainly blog about my opinion on that. Christmas and the holiday season are upon us, and I could go into some serious detail about my growing dislike for the commercialism and consumerism of it all (please, don't get me started!!!). But, the last couple weeks have also been so chaotic! To start, I've been fighting a cold for the last 2 weeks, and all I want to do is sleep. Well, it's not bad enough to take off work to sleep, so at night, after I watch mind-numbing television for a while to wind down after my chaotic workday, I've been crashing hard and even so having trouble waking up in the morning. Then, when I do wake up, there's no time for lollygagging. In other words, gotta get er done!!!

To clarify, my days go something like this: My alarm goes off at about 7:00. I roll out of my warm bed (full of children..I don't even realize that they come in in the middle of the night and somehow consume every spare portion of bed, leaving me in danger of falling off the edge), coughing and barely able to breathe (due to said lingering cold), and I do a quick workout. Then I go back upstairs to peel the kids out of bed and fight with them for 15 minutes about getting dressed. Mikayla hates wearing anything but dresses or skirts, so every day, when I ask her to put on some jeans because it's going to be cold, she pouts and tells me that she won't look cute in jeans. Seriously, who taught her that? Certainly not her jeans-loving, skirt-hating mother. Forget the more sobering fact that she is only 6 but is already self-conscious about how she looks...

After the kids have gotten dressed, they eat breakfast, and then when it's time to leave for whatever reason it takes them 10 minutes to get jackets and gloves and backpacks, money for school, (I feel like I'm always sending them a check for something), homework, library books, etc. By that time everyone is frustrated and the tension is so thick that no one is happy. I'm sure the kids get over it, but the constant struggle with them in the morning drains me for the rest of the day.

When everyone is gone, I get my morning fix of coffee and go down into the basement for some quality one-on-one time with my computer and this is where I spend most of my day. As I type about total knee replacements, hernia repairs, double amputations, liposuction, and, my favorite (sarcasm), breast augmentation, my mind wanders and I dream about things to come and things that I want to expect, hoping that someday these things won't be just dreams but realities...and then I remember what I'm doing...i.e. making a necessary paycheck...NOT making a difference.

Then, when the kids get home, it's back to chaos with homework and sharing toys and doing chores until their bedtime, which, in itself is chaos, with the girls yelling down at me every 5 minutes when they're supposed to be sleeping....

Not all of it is bad chaos. Some of it is actually really good chaos. Like when my kids and I act silly together and when I watch them put on shows and scramble to clean up for a dollar. But chaos nonetheless...and through it I try to remain focused on one thing: The strength to do God's will in the midst of the chaos, and the perseverence to remember that greater things have yet to come, despite the chaos.

Halloween

2008-11-02T21:04:00.007-07:00

So yummy, so yummy..?!

2008-10-20T15:31:00.003-06:00

Ummmmmm....Dude, what is with childrens' television these days!?!? I especially enjoy the crying carrots near the end..haha.

I'm Lame.

2008-10-18T19:14:00.004-06:00

Some of you know that I was supposed to run my first 1/2 marathon (that is, 13 miles) tomorrow.

Well, I am not one to back out of things that I commit to, and I hesitate now even to blog about this because it's actually one of my biggest pet-peeves.. when people don't follow through with what they say they're going to do.

So why my last-minute decision to bail, you ask? A number of situations contribute. First, you should know that I've developed a weird, ironic, and unprecidented affinity for running. Never in a million years did I picture myself as any kind of runner, much less running in a 13-mile race, which, by the way, I did pay money for. Four months ago I would have questioned the sanity of the person who willingly paid money to run. But I did it and I don't regret it. I do think that, even if not running the race, paying for it benefitted me in a different way because it motivated me to train 3 to 4 times a week, with one longer run each week, finally working up to 11 miles, and, though running races is apparently not my gig, I will continue to run a few times a week because I do truly enjoy it.

But the whole ordeal was turning into a giant pain in the a$$, and I don't enjoy it enough to stress over it. As if I don't have enough to stress about without having to stress over something as trivial as running. First, I was supposed to drive to Denver to pick up my race packet on Friday or today, which included my race number and a myriad of so-called "goodies" (guess it depends on what your definition of a "goody" is..hehe). That so didn't happen on account of having no time to do it. Second, though I'm not upset about the fact that I got ditched for the race, it would have stressed me out to go it alone, what with being surrounded by a crowd of 23897289 super-jocks, as I both hate crowds and I am far from being any sort of a super-jock. Finally, the transportion issue was causing me great anxiety, as I had only two options: I would have had to either, A.) Get dropped off at 5:00 in the morning in Denver to chill by myself for an hour in the freezing cold morning darkness surrounded by a bunch of chipper, bouncy athletes who were freakishly excited to be there, or, B.) Drive myself, which would entail me parking and taking a shuttle to the race start. Since I couldn't find anyone who would be able to pick me up 5 hours later, option #1 was out, and, sorry, but the thought of dealing with parking, taking a shuttle by myself, and then having to drive myself home after running the aforementioned mileage was making me nauseous.

While I will admit I'm a little bummed about this not working out, I am very, VERY proud of myself for sticking with the rigorous training schedule, and I do feel very much accomplished because of what I have achieved through this experience. And, don't you worry, I'll be back at it on Monday, well rested and rearing to go.

Overall, it's been an awesome experience in the long run... (hahaha, long run.. get it?!)

I told you, I'm lame.

:)

Princess Party

2008-09-28T22:13:00.003-06:00

Princess Party 2008 was awesome. Danielle and Megan did a great job, again. I think it's so important to remind our youth often, especially young girls, that they are valuable in a way that no one else is and that they are unique and important, in an effort to help them raise standards for themselves and act and feel like the royalty they truly are.

Resound, Running, & Redemption

2008-09-14T21:27:00.007-06:00

Resound ~ The only way to describe it is that I saw with my own eyes people who put their God-given talents and gifts to work, including myself, with no expected rewards or excessive compensation, for exactly what God had planned for them to be used for, and I found myself in the midst of the realization that this is truly where my heart is. Some questioned why I would want to take on such a project and assumed that because I'm busy all the time with work and family I don't need any extra stressors or extra responsibilities. True! Very true. And, admittedly, I don't particularly love being on the administrative side of things. But I'm good at it, and where there's a need for any talent, whatever it may be, it's to be used for the glory of God, not selfishly hidden away...these talents and responsibilities were given to us for a reason! What's more, I absolutely love seeing a good concept and all of its elements come together so beautifully like Resound did, especially when we kind of just blindly jumped into it not knowing what to expect exactly, and it ended up definitely being a success! Of course, the fact that Resound just happened to be a worship event made it that much easier for me to give my time and effort willingly.

Onto running. In my half-marathon training, I'm due to run 7 miles in the morning. I know it sounds crazy (even I sometimes think I have lost my mind!), but I'm really excited to go, mostly because when I'm running it's MY time. I get an awesome workout, I get to listen to music (sounds dumb but I really never get to!), I get to sort out my thoughts without any interruptions, and I get to enjoy creation around me. Though afterwards my body feels the effects of that much intense movement, my mind is clear and I feel mentally amazing, like I could conquer the world...or at least the laundry. ;)

And finally, onto redemption. I just started reading "Destined to Reign" by Joseph Prince, a pastor of a large church in Singapore who works closely with Hillsong, another church located in Australia. Now, I am not really into all of those self-help, make-your-life-better-by-doing-this books, and even this one struck a wrong chord in me when I first picked it up. Not that I don't agree with a lot of what those pastors or leaders are trying to convey (in this case, the message of grace), but it's the way they convey it and the way they market it...it TOTALLY makes a difference. But this one, I started to read and I couldn't put it down. There were so many scripture-based truths that it actually drew me in..he does such a good job of giving scripture and backing it up with comprehensive examples, not just giving his own personal opinion and then backing it up with scripture. And I loved how he said that we shouldn't take anyone's word for it, including his, but that we should always make note of what the bible says about any issue because that is ultimately the last word. I really think that it's worth taking a peek at, and I wouldn't take the time to say that about just any old book...and on the message of grace, I think we would all be better off if we would just come to a better understanding of what grace actually is and why it is we have recieved this amazing gift from God.

And that's it for now.

There is NOTHING better....

2008-09-05T10:33:00.001-06:00

than to be surrounded by the sweet presence of God.

Hello friends ~ I wanted to invite you to Resound, a worship conference being held at Vinelife Church on Friday and Saturday, September 12th and 13th. Worshipping is not just about singing songs, and it's not just about being musically gifted and/or being the best at what you do. Rather, our first priority in worship should be to glorify our Creator and to take the words that we sing and the many other ways in which we worship and apply them to our daily lives to essentially inspire and influence those around us, and, ultimately, through worship, we as the body of Christ can positively impact the world. These are the things that will be demonstrated at this conference in a comprehensive yet sincere manner. Please prayerfully consider joining us as we learn, grow, and worship together.

For more information, click on the link below:

http://www. vinelife. com/events/resound-worship-conference

Dancing Queen

2008-08-31T21:49:00.005-06:00

The long-awaited day has come and gone. Ashlyn, my 3-year-old, began her ballet/tap combo class last Wednesday! Ever since she was a tiny baby she has watched big sister dance with so much anticipation that when she was 2 she actually forced an "audition" on one of the dance instructors to prove her capabilities. At the same time, I was so nervous that she would throw a huge fit and do nothing but stand screaming, huddled by the door just like she did with the dancenastics class at Airborne last summer, and she did hesitate for a split second when we approached the door to the studio. But I gave her a little nudge into the room, and from there she couldn't contain her excitement to be there. She cautiously lined up alongside the 3 other little girls in the class and proceeded to dance her little heart out, with only one incident where she decided to sit it out (when I asked her later why she didn't do that part, she simply said, "Because I don't know how to be a mice ow a wabbit." Apparently they were supposed to jump around like mice and rabbits?) Anyway, she did her best with the biggest, most adorable smile on her face, and all day she showed me what she had learned and asked when she could go back. The long-awaited day has come and gone, and Ashlyn is now officially a dancer, and a truly passionate and gifted one at that. Mission accomplished. ;)

florida.

2008-08-22T22:49:00.010-06:00

So we just got back from a resort in Florida on Wednesday, and, although it was extremely fun, I must say that I'm glad to be getting back to somewhat of a normal schedule. The kids started school on Thursday, which leaves me with a little bit of extra time to get stuff done. Looking forward to the fall and cooler days ahead.

As promised [Hailey :)], here are some pics from the Florida trip. Pretty much all we did was hang out at the beach and the pool, and had dinners with Mike's entire family from New York who we took this trip with.

View from the room

Hot tub

Me and Mik poolside

Josh and Jaden Megan, Katie, and Isabella
Baby Ashes

Birthday girl! [middle]

At the end of the party
Boogie boarding!

Getting ready for the pool/beach
On the balcony
Me and my sis-in-law Karen
Silly boys
The baby boy cousin

So there you have it.

Exit summer; Enter schoolyear.

Wait

2008-08-13T09:53:00.007-06:00

But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

~Romans 8:25

I waited patiently for the Lord; He inclined to me and heard my cry.

~Psalm 40:1

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

~Romans 5:3-5

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.

~Philippians 4:11

I am in my basement, staring out of the underground window into the illuminating sun above me, beckoning me, and I am waiting. I'm waiting for the work to start coming into the inbox on the computer screen, yes. But there is something else I'm waiting for, and I'm not quite sure what it is. I complain about the fact that I just transitioned into a longer workday, but the moment I did that the work began to lack and I find myself staring at the computer screen longer each day, and just waiting. So now I ask, what am I waiting for? Will God not provide for me? Doesn't he know the situation I'm in? HE DOES!

And I'm certain He wants me out of it.

Hence the long workdays, the endless distractions, the lack of work, and the stress all of that contributes.

He wants me just uncomfortable enough so that I don't settle. For this.

So I could go looking for another mediocre job, another excuse to be idle, another way to boost my income, another unwanted weight on my shoulders. As if I haven't done enough for my own benefit and that of my family. But I wait, because I know there's more than this for me.

And eventually, in my semi-productive waiting, I know that if I just listen and obey, whatever it is will come to pass.

California Trip

2008-08-07T22:03:00.009-06:00

We had lots of fun in California last week. Short version:

Day 1: When we arrived in San Diego we went to Mission Bay Beach. It was the kids' very first time in the ocean! We spent a couple hours there and then headed to up to Anaheim.

Day 2: Disneyland from morning til night. It was fun, but Disney World is better in my opinion. Maybe it was just because it was soooo hot and crowded in August, and we usually go to Disney World in December when it's cooler and there are no lines...

Day 3: We met up for breakfast with an old friend of ours who we haven't heard from in 10 years who just happened to get in touch with me 2 days before and who just happened to live on the way to where we were going...bizarre. It was great to see him. Then we started our drive North to our final destination in Los Gatos where my friends' wedding would take place. We drove through Hollywood, stopped at the beach and Santa Monica Pier, and then made our way up through Malibu and stopped for the night after driving for 3 hours.

Day 4: Drove the rest of the way to Los Gatos and rested up in the hotel room and by the pool until the rehearsal dinner that night.

Day 5: Amy and Dimiter's wedding! They both looked amazing, the venue was amazing, and the wedding was amazing. I miss them so much but I am so glad they got married in California or else I may never have had an excuse to go there! ; ) Even after the reception, the party resumed at the hotel. It was so fun to see everyone!

Day 6: Hung out with Amy and Dimiter at their house until it was time to go to the airport to make our way home.

We had a great time, and next Saturday we leave for Florida for some more fun before school starts and life gets back to normal.

RESOUND

2008-07-28T22:23:00.002-06:00

September 12 - 13, 2008 @ Vinelife Church

This September, join other worshippers for a two day conference designed to help you refuel your spirit and refine your skills through biblical teaching and practical breakout sessions. Not a musician or artist? No problem. This conference is for anybody who desires to live a life that resounds with worship.

Practical Breakout Sessions in Songwriting, Biblical Foundations of Worship, Music Theory, The Secret Life of a Worshipper, Prophetic Worship, Basic Guitar Instruction, Vocals, Worship & Creativity, Leading Worship in Small Groups and many more.

$25 Lunch and Resources provided. After Sep. 7, cost goes up to $35.Register in Foot Prints Bookstore at Vinelife or online at: http://www.vinelife.com/events/resound-worship-conference

The last 10 days..

2008-07-27T22:05:00.005-06:00

In the last 10 days, I have weathered multiple out-of-the-ordinary events:

Two Fridays ago, Mikayla fell at the pool, split just under her chin, and had to get stitches. She is fine now, but I pretty much went into shock mode when it happened. I think she may have even been proud of her battle wound and wanted to show it off to everyone who cared.

Last Sunday, the fam went camping for one night (as much camping as I can handle!) with my parents and niece and nephew. I like the campfires, the lakes, the hot chocolate and marshmallows, and especially the hiking, but I absolutely need my own bed (or even A bed) at night.

Long Lake

Friday, I, along with lots of others, helped my adorable, awesome friend Bre celebrate her 22nd birthday. I had an excellent time chatting and staying up late with Heather, Chante, Melissa, Megan, and Bre (and all the guys too, but they drifted in and out of our convos...)!

Saturday, I went on my first rafting trip on Clear Creek in Idaho Springs for one of my neighbors' birthdays. I must admit, I almost made a beeline for the car after hearing the potential mishaps and how to survive them, but I ended up having a great time and perhaps could have even handled a rougher ride..!

Tuesday morning we are boarding a plane for our long-awaited California escapade, and I am positive I will have many exciting things to blog about when I get back!

Pre-Wedding Fun...

2008-07-13T22:10:00.008-06:00

Amy and Karen

Me and Karen (friends since 14)
Me and China (friends since 14)
Me and Bri (friends since 18, but have known each other since childhood)
Elena (Amy's little sis, known since she was born), Elisbeth (Elena's friend), and China
[ Notice that at least 3 of the people in this picture are all in a very similar picture seen in my 10-year wedding slideshow below..:D]
Well, this weekened was filled with everything Amy [my best friend who I have known since birth and grew up with..our parents went to college together and were, and still are, friends]. She flew in from California to celebrate her bridal shower and her bachelorette party on the same day, and we all had lots of fun catching up with old friends and hanging out just like we used to. I venture to say that her bachelorette party was the most fun I have had in a very long time...well, like, since we all graduated and went our separate ways, anyway..

The wedding is in just a couple weeks, and I am so excited! I know their life together will be blessed.

July 11, 1998::Ten years

2008-07-09T08:26:00.005-06:00

What Just Happened?!

2008-07-03T08:57:00.005-06:00

My life has been in sort of a transition over the past few months, with my work schedule changing, my sleep schedule changing, and basically just making time for things that have in the past been a challenge to make time for. And, though I like to keep the blog updated, it's been put on the back burner, (along with some of the housework, unfortunately) for the time being.

I'm still buzzing from last night. It may seem dumb but to me it's huge. You see, I've always had a fear. Fear of being noticed, fear of making a mark, fear of looking egotistical, and fear of thinking I'm better than I really am. And this fear has run in my family - it's a generational thing - with my dad (who has been a worship leader in the past) having dealt with the exact same thing. The difference is, though, is that I've been slowly realizing for some time now that the act of being afraid itself is where we've been going wrong all along. I've learned that it's okay to use and be proud of what you have with the right intentions in mind. I've learned that to base my actions on what someone else might potentially think of me is silly, so I've decided to just blindfold myself to my surroundings and jump in.

And I did just that last night. For the first time ever, I took the stage and led worship..playing and singing at the same time. HUGE.

I was nervous beforehand, yet as soon as the music started I felt strangely comfortable, as if I'd been doing this forever. I hit a couple of wrong notes here and there, but overall I think I did okay for a newbie. If I screwed up I was able to get back on with no problems. I stayed with the click for the most part. Most importantly, I don't think I messed up at all on the song that I led. However, no one said anything when we were done, so, naturally I was thinking to myself, "Uh oh, I totally screwed up and no one wants to hurt my feelings."

But my fears were quickly abated after some sincere compliments, and especially a heartfelt one from a friend who may not even know it but who has been a huge inspiration to me for a long time, so to hear it from him I was even more convinced that I had done well enough.

The more I think about it, the more I want to laugh at myself, because, really, I've been capable of this for a long time and I should have pursued it earlier (like, A LOT earlier..hehe..I ain't gettin' any younger..) but fear kept me quiet. But now I think it's safe to say that I've been a part of breaking that fear cycle that's had a tight grip in my undeniably talented family for generations, and THAT is why I'm so, so unbelievably excited, and relieved, and inspired, and thankful, all at the same time.

So You Think You Can Dance

2008-06-15T21:33:00.004-06:00

I'm totally hooked on this show, even though I think Mary is so freakin' obnoxious and it's a little cheesy at times. But the dancing is incredible.

I LOVED this...it's so gorgeous.

and this was amazing too..

I've said it a million times...

2008-06-15T21:03:00.003-06:00

And I'll say it again. I am so grateful for good friends. Friends who:

Help me get through my "girl" moments.
Don't ditch me when I am LAME, and I know I can be (shut up).
Keep me grounded when I feel like saying FTW.
Listen to me laugh and cry and talk too much.
Make sure I have everything I need.
Watch my kids.
Keep me company while I work.
Are honest with me, even when it stings...
But don't judge me when I make a bad choice.
Tell me to shut up when I'm making an idiot of myself.
Don't take it personally when I get into my antisocial moods.
Encourage me.
Make me laugh.
Pray for me.

And with weeks like this last one, where I'm exhausted, overwhelmed, pushed to my limits, and easily fired up (see below), I thank you for understanding and not taking me too seriously. :)

xoxox

Breakaway

2008-06-10T20:55:00.009-06:00

Two Sunday nights ago, Mike and I decided to go on a spontaneous mini get-away with the kids, so we packed up our stuff and headed to Estes Park for some much needed time away from home. We stayed in a nice hotel along Fall River, and as soon as my head hit the pillow I was out cold, even with the Disney Channel blaring in the background. I think it was sometime around 11 when the rest of the clan went to sleep, but to be honest, I'm not entirely sure...

In the morning we grabbed some continental breakfast and ate it outside by the river. The rush of the water and the crisp breeze rustling the trees made for a relaxing start to an otherwise busy day. From the hotel we drove straight to Lily Lake. It's just before you get to Rocky Mountain National Park, but it's not actually in the park so you don't have to pay the hefty fee to get in. We walked the trail around the lake, which ended up to be about three-quarters of a mile. It was a wide, level trail, perfect for the little ones who surprisingly tired easily, even on this relatively simple walk. While I would have enjoyed a more difficult hike, the views from the trail were simply breathtaking.

Next, we drove back down the mountain to walk the strip and get some lunch. We stopped at one of the many old-fashioned candy shoppes and got some salt water taffy for the kids. We should have gotten more. Before we headed home, we decided to catch a game of miniature golf. With 2 small children and one over-ambitious 9-year-old in tow, miniature golf is anything but a walk in the park. Nonetheless, in the end we had lots of fun.

By 3 o'clock, I was ready for bed again (:D), and it was time to wrap it up. We packed up the kids and headed back home.

It's sad that these mountains are so close to us, yet we take them for granted, and always have. I plan on taking advantage of them this summer in trying to get up there more often for excursions like these. Who knows, maybe next winter I'll even take up snowboarding.... :)

HOTT

2008-06-02T23:00:00.006-06:00

I was looking through some of my pictures earlier and realized that most, if not all, of my friends are HOT. I mean, like, gorgeous, beautiful, sexy, smokin' hot. Now, I admit, when I was in high school, all those many eons ago when I was a snotty, superfical teenager, what a person looked like may have swayed my decision on whether they were friendship material or not...and I would have been damn proud of the group of friends I have today. I mean...just LOOK at them!!

See!?!? and this isn't even ALL of them...

But, in all honesty, my love for these fabulous women stems from not how perfect their faces are, but how amazing and unique each one of them is inside, which, in turn, enhances their already electrifying beauty.

[Disclaimer: If you're not on here, it doesn't mean you're not hot. I just don't have a picture of you!!!!]

Our Little Angels...

2008-05-26T14:48:00.003-06:00

This is what happens when you leave a 6-year-old, a 4-year-old, and a 3-year-old alone for 5 minutes....look at those guilty faces. hehehehe. :)

One more thing:

2008-05-19T23:15:00.003-06:00

California and Florida are calling my name...loudly. I CAN'T WAIT!!! Mike and I both deserve these past-due breaks from the daily grind...Sure, they're few and far between, but in a way it helps us to remember to appreciate vacations like this that much more. Even if we do have to take the kids with us...

And I thought they were perfect...

2008-05-19T22:31:00.005-06:00

I took my girls to the doctor today for their yearly well-child checkup, and for the most part there were no surprises. Ashlyn, as the nurse so kindly described her, is a box: 38 inches tall, and 38 pounds. Nice. Mikayla is just about your average 6-year-old in both height and weight. Both of them are completely healthy; that is, except for Mikayla's eyesight problem.... Apparently, she's somewhere in the neighborhood of 20/60 vision. I honestly have no clue what that means, because my vision is, and always has been, pretty darn sharp. I'm guessing it's near-sighted?!

Anyway, at her doctor visit last year they had mentioned that we should watch her for vision problems because she didn't pass that exam either, but they weren't sure if she was having trouble seeing or if she really just didn't know what the name of the shape was. But, sure enough, this year it was so obvious that she really couldn't see it. So we now have to take her to an ophthomologist and she will most likely end up with a pair of corrective lenses, which, strangely enough, she was more than happy to hear. Aside from now having another thing to worry about (keeping track of and taking care of a pair of expensive but necessary eyeglasses), I'm okay with it and am thankful that that is the worst thing that my child has to deal with.

On another note, Josh and Mikayla danced in the annual LDT recital on Saturday and both did awesome! Josh actually wants to do it again next fall; he actually asked me if he could, which is a gigantic indicator of how much he truly likes it. Believe me, I've been trying to figure out where his niche is for a long time, and I'm so excited that he likes it so much! Basketball and hip hop....

I have video of their dances, but for some reason the disk that it is recorded on is shutting down my computer when I try to import it (grrrr), so I have to figure out what's wrong with it. But as soon as I do, I'll post them.

RANDOM..

2008-05-15T23:18:00.005-06:00

Everyone has their weakness...I'm the first to admit that I am a HUGE shoe freak. I love them and I can never have enough cute ones. Seriously, one of the hardest things for me to do is walk away when I see a pair I like. But, unlike so many times before, I actually did just that today; it felt good, but it took everything in me...A pair of black Converse One Star slip ons... cute, comfortable, functional, AND easy to put on...

I must have them.

With the ways things have been going lately, maybe when they go on clearance...

Sigh.

Mother's Day

2008-05-11T22:22:00.005-06:00

To all my friends out there who also happen to be mothers, I hope you all had a great mother's day! You're all awesome!

Oh yes, and today is also Josh's birthday. He's 9.

Crazy Weekend

2008-05-04T21:50:00.009-06:00

So, I know I said in a post in December that that was the busiest time of year for me...I think I may stand corrected. I am looking at my calender for May, frantically searching for a day when I have absolutely nothing to do..and I don't see it! That's not to say that these aren't things I enjoy, (i.e., my 60-minute massage awaiting me tomorrow morning)...but still...

For instance, what I am about to post are some pictures and videos of this weekend...and after you see them you may find yourself just as exhausted as I feel right now. But, let me assure you, it was so worth it!

On Friday, I let Josh have a sleepover party for his birthday with some of his friends from school. This may have been the easiest party I have ever thrown for one of my kids...5 boys, pizza, cake, video games, movies, popcorn, and sleeping bags in the basement. There was one boy whose father told me as he was dropping him off that he was allergic to cats and that if he started to swell up all I had to do was give him a cold washcloth and some benadryl, no big deal. No big deal?! My kids don't have any allergies like this, and the one time Mikayla did have a reaction to an antibiotic she swelled up so bad that I could barely recognize her and we ended up taking her to the ER. No big deal?! Needless to say, I was slightly overprotective with this child, checking on him every 10 minutes to make sure he wasn't breaking out, swollen, convulsing, or anything of the sort under my care. He ended up not having any reaction at all to the cat. But, just as I was beginning to relax, he starts coughing nonstop and informs me between breaths that he is having an asthma attack, no big deal...and as I panicked, he calmly reached for his inhaler and administered it to himself with ease. No big deal.

Next comes Saturday. As Hailey and Rhea would both attest to, this day was the definition of insanity, to say the least. Too many things to write in detail about, so I will just list them. You don't want to know details anyway. Trust me. :)

9-10 a.m. Boys go home from sleepover.
9:30-11 Work

11-12 Birthday party at a neighbor's house

11:45 Josh somehow gets tree sap all over the back of Mikayla's neck, causing her to try to rub it off, causing a huge red mark, causing me to freak that it was a burn when she mistakenly said Josh had poured wax on her, causing us to miss the rest of the birthday party and be late for Josh's hip hop class...

12:30-1:30 Josh Hip Hop class (only boy, front and center, cutest thing ever)

2-4:30 Work again and naptime for kids (spankings threatened)

5-6:15 Birthday party at another neighbor's house/BBQ/tequila shots (for added nerve-calming)
6:30-7 Get Mikayla ready for her big ballet debut (Note to self: Never cut your child's hair short a week before a ballet recital requiring hair in ballet bun)
7:30-10:30 Hansel & Gretel Original LDT Ballet

This ballet was such a production! Mikayla was part of the gum drop corps, a scene specifically written to include the smallest dancers of LDT in the ballet. She has rehearsed every Sunday for half an hour for the past 3 months, had a 2-hour rehearsal almost every day this past week, and was in both the Saturday night and Sunday productions. She had no big solo part and really didn't even do that much dancing. But it was adorable nonetheless, she had an absolute blast, and, hey, you gotta start somewhere!

Dance of the Gum Drops (Mikayla is the one with the red lollipop)

The final bow at the end of the performance

Mikayla and her friend Ginelle after their Saturday night performance

The whole thing shot me back to my first ever big ballet performance...and the reason why I love it so much to this day...

The Nutcracker Ballet, Boulder Ballet, December 1983

: )

And now, it's bedtime, so I can wake up tomorrow and start another crazy week..

My baby is 3! When did that happen?!

2008-04-20T21:35:00.008-06:00

I threw a birthday party for my littlest, Ashlyn, on Saturday. Ashlyn thinks she's a princess (no, seriously), so I had a princess party for her and invited some of her little girlfriends over. I'm so not good at all the games and everything that a normal kid's birthday party entails (that's what Chuck e.Cheese and Bounce Town are for, right?) so I just had them dress up in their dresses, come over, and eat cake. Simple.

I did, however, come up with an ingenious idea to have one of the lovely girls who sometimes babysits for my kids show up dressed as a princess, and the girls were awestruck. It was very cute. See for yourself.

Annabel, Ash, and Mikayla
Ash making a classic Ash face

Ash now thinks Maggie is a *real* princess

Ellie Bug

The Homework Monster..[it will get you, too.]

2008-04-13T21:09:00.005-06:00

I know it probably sounds dumb when you don't have a kid who is old enough for homework...but when you do, you'll understand!!! You know, having been out of school for quite some time now, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I find 3rd grade homework at times a bit, well, difficult! Mostly I'm okay with it, but there are some math problems and writing skills and terminology that I just don't get anymore. Yes, I was your typical bookworm smarty pants teacher's pet nerd back in the day...but having to revisit multiplication tables, the structure of a sentence, and the different phases of a mealworm has proven to be an unwelcomed challenge. And if you know me, you know I HAVE to not only get it, lest my universe be in turmoil until I figure out the correct and perfect answer..but I also have to be able to explain it thoroughly so that someone else (read: my kid) could use my technique to figure it out..it's all part of the disease. ahahaa.

I've finally settled into the fact that my son is not the homework-loving type and it will most definitely take hours of me bribing him before he writes a sentence in his best handwriting or does his math worksheet without putting the same answer down for every question. He's intelligent..that's not the issue. It's getting him to focus on the task at hand that's the hard part. Cry-fests are no stranger to this house in the homework department.

My kindergarden daughter, on the other hand, is smart as a whip and actually creates her own homework for herself, so I'm not too terribly concerned about the amount of time I will have to spend helping her with her homework, once she begins to recieve it. Who knew, though, that she would begin to recieve it, like, this week?! You can imagine my sheer excitement when I opened her backpack to find a ziplock bag with the words "Mikayla's Homework" printed on the front in nice, large letters for me to see. I'm not sure I'm ready to take it on, what with my constant battle of tackling the other one's weekly math and writing already..it's all just too much!

I'm not against homework, but, seriously, it's one of those things that I just dread, because it's just one more thing I as the parent have to keep track of, and the more kids you have in school, the more homework you have to track. And, yes, the teachers emphasize that it's the kids' responsibility to remember to do it and do it to the best of their ability, but, let's be honest, you know that if your kid's not consistently handing in his work on time, finished and well done, it totally reflects on your parenting skills; perhaps indirectly, but it does.

All I know is, when I signed on to be a parent (or, in my case, "Oh s***, I'm gonna be a parent?!?"), I didn't factor in (hahaha factor, pun intended) the amount of time spent on homework or arguing about it. And if I'm having trouble helping my kids now, what the crap am I gonna do when they start bringing home chemistry and algebra? I better use the extra time I have now to brush up..

Oh wait...extra time? What's that?

Not much to say...

2008-04-07T22:09:00.002-06:00

It's been a while since my last post...for me... ;). A lot is going on but nothing worth writing home..or blogging...about.. so when something interesting does happen, rest assured you will hear about it!!!

But for now, I'm off.

love.

New Hair

2008-03-28T11:36:00.003-06:00

I am LOVING the black. Thanks to Megan..

That girl can make anyone look good.

;)

A good friend of mine is throwing me a birthday party tonight. I should be more excited than I am, but for some reason I'm nervous.

I'm confident that it will be fun!

And I do sooooo appreciate Amy for trying to get my 30th year started off right.

XOXOX

Easter Sunday and the big 3-0

2008-03-23T22:21:00.008-06:00

1 Peter 1:3
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead...

Today has been a full but nice day. Church, then Easter egg dying (last minute, I know), then dinner with family, where my sister and I were asked to be bridesmaids for our soon-to-be sister-in-law's and brother's wedding. That was a very pleasant surprise!

Tomorrow is the dreaded day....my years in the twenties are no more. *tear*

But if 30 is the new 20, as they say, then I'm good! :)

Also as they say, you're only as old as you act...uhhh...enough said.

Also on deck for the week:

Getting my hair highlighted...again..this time with a little black in the mix!!!

SIM.

Coffee with some of my favorite girls.

Birthday celebrations all around!

~~~~~~~

A couple more pics...

BURN

2008-03-18T22:09:00.005-06:00

My most recent endeavor: Working out. and working out HARD. I ain't talkin half-assed, sissy, twirling around for 20 minutes just so I can say I worked out. I'm talkin down and dirty, sweat-drenching, muscle-building, calorie-incinerating workouts. And I've been sticking with it for at least 2 months now.

I have always worked out, but it was sporadic, and even when I did commit to 5 days a week, I would end up having something more important that I needed to do, like help out in my daughter's kindergarden class, and I would convince myself it was okay to just skip it because in the scheme of things that truly was more important. But I've always known and strongly believed in the importance of staying fit, too, and I believe that if you want something you MUST work for it. You can't just sit around and whine about how everything sucks. TAKE ACTION! If not, you then become a victim, and it's difficult for me to tolerate that mindset, though I can't deny that I, too, am guilty of indulging in it every now and then. If something needs to change, then change it, or at least try to change it! Just DO something. Don't complain! DO!

Anyway, sorry....losing focus, losing focus.. (ADD sucks). hehehe.

Back to working out. I think I may have some kind of disorder, because I'll be working out hard and almost crying and hating every second of it...but then when it's over, I like HAVE to do more! It must be the burn that motivates me...because that's the feeling of accomplishment! It's different than pain to me..pain would be the damn migraines and neck issues I continue to have from that damn car accident last March. But this is like satisfaction and achievement and feeling strong all at the same time. And now, after the last couple months of REALLY working out and really giving it my best effort, I'm sleeping better, I have more energy, and I'm in a better mood in general. LOVE it.

And now I'm going to go to bed so I can wake up in the morning and get my hardcore Pilates on.

Carly on AI...

2008-03-13T23:23:00.005-06:00

She is fabulous. I hope she wins.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Revelation

2008-03-11T10:57:00.005-06:00

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

~ 2 corinthians 12:9-10

i love it when everything falls into place and starts making sense, and you look back and are able to be thankful for things that have occurred, even when they may have seemed confusing at the time. i feel so blessed and so fortunate to serve a God who is faithful and always true.

here's what i mean.

for the span of probably about 5 years, i was in "settle" mode. i wasn't unhappy with the way things were going; quite the opposite, rather. however, unknowingly, i was letting my role as solely a mother and wife define me more and more. for some, this may be what they have aspired to be, and that is totally fine! [i love being a wife and a mother, don't get me wrong!] but for me, i was neglecting the aspirations and dreams and hopes that i had possessed since i was a child that i knew were placed in me by God. i was living a life behind closed doors, never wanting to get out and meet new people or try anything new.

at the time, i thought i was a strong person. i had been through some interesting times in my life and had convinced myself that i didn't need anyone else besides my family. i didn't let anyone give me advice or criticism, and i even had a hard time accepting compliments, because i thought everyone else was full of crap. unless you were my husband or my child, closeness with me wasn't an option. so i started to isolate. but God began to stir it up in me again, giving me a taste of desire, a glimpse of hope, when I decided on a whim to visit Vinelife Church after years of church-hating. when i finally did start to get involved in things and reconnecting with friends, etc., i felt so much contentedness. it was like i was re-realizing how rich and fullfilling life was meant to be. God surrounded me with people who inspired me. he opened doors of opportunity for me. he never left my side as i humbly and fearfully walked through them.

and the funny part; i never realized how weak i really was until i started to obey him and take even those tiny risks...

through all of this, i noticed that i was not myself. i was letting other people get to me. i was being overly sensitive to situations. i was taking these good things God had placed in my path and misusing them in fear of losing them, i guess. and i would think to myself, "what am I doing?" i know better. i know it seems like that would be a frustrating thing. and it was. but i really believe that it was meant to be. it was going to take brokenness to understand what God wanted from me. and it revealed to me what my weaknesses are so that i could let Him carry me in those areas and rely on him when there was no one else who would understand. Because, after all, IN MY WEAKNESS, HE IS STRONG. i realized that i do also very much need the support and friendship of others...and that i can't do this on my own. and i now feel stronger in faith than ever because of these things He has allowed me to experience and has used for good...

and the same can be true for you.

xoxo

It's been one of those days

2008-03-08T22:06:00.003-07:00

How to describe today...

Not a bad day...mostly pleasant in fact..more like uneventful, yet extremely long. It was one of those days when time flies by so fast that you can't really get anything productive done, but now, finally sitting down to relax at 10 pm (actually 11 pm if you've already changed the clocks, as I have), this day seems to keep going, and going..

It was one of those days when everything my poor kids did seemed to find a way to get on my nerves..things like when my 6-year-old whined for 20 minutes about not wanting to sit in the third row of the car for a 5-minute car ride (actually, she seemed to whine about everything today), or when my 8-year-old kept buggin about needing to feed his Webkin for the 282934th time today or else its happiness would be depleted. Oh, how tragic. Or when my almost 3-year-old decided it was a good idea to throw rocks at the neighbor's baby (sorry Ellie!!)...thank God her aim sucks. :)

I love my kids and I always feel so bad when I get snappy with them, but there are just those days when you get sick of hearing your own voice saying "no", and you wonder if they just really don't understand the word, or why they think it means "possibly" or "perhaps if I keep asking."

My kids are definitely very well behaved, good, kindhearted, well-meaning kids in general and I am so proud of them for that. And, though I know days like this are inevitable, I truly hope that they grow up knowing how much I adore them.

Speaking of women leading worship..

2008-03-07T09:08:00.004-07:00

This girl rocks.

In the past 2 weeks, I have recieved this video in an email and have seen it through at least 2 different people that don't even know each other...Making an impact? For sure!

It's freakin awesome.

She's no Brooke Fraser, but...

2008-02-29T10:48:00.008-07:00

I really like this song, even if it's a bit old-fashioned and fits nicely into the worship music "box"; it just puts me in a good mood when I listen to it because of the truth in the lyrics. What I mostly like about it, though, is that Kari is so young and already she is leading people of all ages into God's presence in the thousands..that is amazing to me. And, of course, it's always encouraging to me to see women stepping up to the challenge of leading worship. [Plus I love her voice. And her cute hair. ;)]

http://www.karijobe.com/

Three blogs in one day..

2008-02-26T22:55:00.002-07:00

..and 4 in two. Guess I got a lot to say this week. Too bad I don't get paid by the line when I'm typing blogs.

Anyway, another awesome time today with Jason and Jon. I am learning so much, it's kind of overwhelming! But those two have been such a blessing, both as leaders and as friends.

Just thought it was worth mentioning.

xoxo

To the spoiled under 30 crowd..

2008-02-26T12:28:00.003-07:00

This is hilarious, and sadly, I can attest to it all...hehehe

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill BOTH ways..Yadda, Yadda, Yadda...And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it! But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet . If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!! There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter ..with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there! There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the dang record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! We didn't have fancy stuff like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, yourgirlfriend, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister! We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like real LIFE! When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just out of luck! Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no on screen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your butt and walk over to the TV to change the channel... and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little brats! And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a flipping fire .. imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot. That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!
Regards,
The over 30 Crowd

Luckily, I am not lying when I say that I am not in the over-30 crowd quite yet...

Seriously!?!

2008-02-17T11:47:00.003-07:00

My kids [and my husband] have been sick off and on for around 2 weeks now...first it was Mikayla, and now the other 2...cough, fever, headache, sore throat.. And they keep passing it back and forth, despite my efforts to maintain a sanitary environment. I think they're at the tail end of it now, with a lingering nasty cough being the main concern. Of course, with them all sick, my social life takes a giant plunge. I haven't really been out of my house since Wednesday! And I absolutely need the stimulation! I think I have done a pretty good job of balancing my family life and my extracirricular activities, so as not to be bored by either. And when I don't get that balance perfect, the universe is directly affected. Ok not really.

I, too, have been fighting off this sickness for what seems to be weeks now. I haven't really had symptoms of being sick, mostly just sheer exhaustion by normal everyday activities that I could typically do with my eyes closed. I thought I was home-free until today, when I woke up with a massive head and neck ache that a steaming shower didn't relieve. So now, yet again, not feeling miserable enough to justify staying in bed all day [not that I would be able to anyway...*sigh*] and feeling well enough to be stir crazy, I am stuck inside my house crawling with sick germs with an aching neck and my head spinning from being so extremely isolated from the outside world.

On that note, I am looking forward to this coming week! I've got some things lined up outside of the house that will hopefully restore my aformentioned balance. So for now I will try my best to just relax today and fight the urge to do every little thing that I see needs to be taken care of around here and just rest up.

On tomorrow's To-Do list: DISINFECT!!!!

Bye for now.

xoxo

I am determined...

2008-02-10T23:33:00.001-07:00

I'm wondering if the last couple of weeks is a foreshadow of what's to come this year..I don't think I have had a slowgoing weekend or week since October! Something different seems to be happening all the time, from many of my friends celebrating thier 30th, to supporting my friends by promoting their businesses [Hailey, Rhea, Amy, Rebecca, Jaymie, you all know exactly what I'm talking about...oh the fun of it all..wink wink], to reconnecting with old friends, to keeping my family entertained, and the list goes on.

There are several major events taking place this year that I must mention:

My best friend in the entire world ever is getting married and I will be visiting California for the first time ever in life [besides the time I went when I was 2...um, yah, no recollection there].
I am turning 30 [I know, I know, I keep mentioning this...but it's just really freakin scary!!].
My 10-year wedding anniversary [all I can say is...wow].
My youngest daughter, Ashlyn, will be starting ballet [it may seem like a "who cares" thing to you, but you haven't had to live with her begging to be in dance class for the past year...it's heartbreaking..."pweesee mama, pweeeeeeeeeseee, i wan go bawey cwass cuz I'm a buful pwincess"..she actually snuck into a class when we were at the studio once and "auditioned" for the owner/instructor...so yah...it's a HUGE deal around here].

Amidst all of this madness, I also have vowed to myself that this year I WILL achieve the goals that I have set for myself, and to do that is actually going to take some effort. As many of you already know, one of these goals is to become proficient on the piano/keys. I've also taken up trying to learn how to play the guitar, mostly because a great deal on one practically got thrown in my face and I really had no reason not to take it. It's proven to be easier than I thought, but it's going to be a while before I'm comfortable with it..I'm ready for the challenge, though! Bring it!

G-O Let's go Giants...

2008-02-03T21:53:00.000-07:00

Seriously, watching football reminds me of my cheerleading/dancing days. To be quite honest, I never actually went to a game and sat in the stands to watch. Every game that I have actually attended in person, I have either been on the track cheering (spirit fingers!!!!) or on the field at halftime gettin' down..(I totally miss it! Dancing, not cheerleading..hehe).

I like football, but not enough to actually watch every game. I pretty much just like to watch the Broncos and the Superbowl. That being said, the Giants/Pats game has made a fan out of me..that was an amazing game! I was rooting for the underdog...and sure enough, they did it!

Go team. aaannd I'm done. ;)

Closing Time

2008-02-01T14:58:00.000-07:00

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

I didn't make up the term "Blessing Blockers", but it sounded fitting at the time...

2008-01-30T21:13:00.000-07:00

I have recently blogged about these last few months being very hard, and I wanted to let you all know that things are and have been definitely looking up! I'm excited about this year and what it will bring. I'm excited for new beginnings, and for a renewed spirit, and a sound mind. I look forward to stepping out into new territory and letting God work through me and helping others to do the same.

One thing that I do have trouble with, as some of you might have realized by now (hehehe..unfortunately for you), is that change is hard for me. Even though I know it's likely for the good, it's hard. I find something I like and get attached to it, and it's hard for me to give it up. It's kind of like leaving your parents' house when you go away to college..you want that change and you've been waiting so long for it, and you know it will probably be a change for the better and a step towards your future, but leaving a place of stability and comfort proves challenging nonetheless. And I have had so much change in my lifetime (change of residences, change of friends, change of schools, etc., etc., and not all good change) that when I find something comfortable, I cling. And, frankly, it sucks, because I have learned over the years that not many others are as loyal or sensitive to/observant of other people as I tend to be.

I have also learned this: You can't blame them. It's called human nature.

In the past few months, there have been a couple incidents of someone who I trust disappointing me in some way; The one that still kills me every time I think about what happened, well this person just did something that was just totally wrong and sickening and hurtful in every way , not just affecting me, but lots of other people as well. And then, after that happened, I was burdened with the question, "If I can't trust this particular person, who, then, CAN I trust?" And I admit I was being super sensitive to other people as a result of it. The funny part about it is I always know all along that I will be disappointed. I always am. Because imperfect, flawed human beings will always disappoint in some way. So how is that their fault? They were just living up to my expectations, carrying out what I knew would eventually occur. It seems that history always repeats itself in this area...

BUT: because it does keep repeating itself, every time something like this happens, I re-learn and remember and re-cling to this: God will never fail you. And I think that is part of the lesson that I am supposed to be learning and re-learning through it all...CLING TO GOD AND THE PROMISES HE HAS FOR YOU, because no one else will ever be as loyal as He is.

I like to think of things like disappointing events as "blessing blockers." These blessing blockers can come in any shape, way, form, etc. They can seem enticing, sweet, fun, and even Godly, but in the end they always fail you. It's because they are not of God. It's because Satan uses them to essentially block your blessing, to try to take your focus off of the promises that God HAS made to you and focus on the situation (seemingly good, or bad) that surrounds you. Because God's plan for you is awesome, and Satan doesn't want you to achieve it. Because that would mean that he lost.

I can be hurt and upset and ready for revenge forever. But that would only mean that Satan got his way, that my focus has fallen off of the promise that God has for me. Am I saying that it's my fault that things in the past have happened the way they did? No. I do take some responsibility, but certainly not all of it. It always takes two. However, I CAN choose to just let it go and to forgive and to have faith that God is a God of justice.

And I do believe that what Satan tries to use for evil, God can ultimately turn around and use it for good.

So, that is where I am at right now. I know it might sound dumb and weird and not make any sense to some of you reading this, but I can honestly say that I want to focus on God's perfect plan, even if it is unclear to me..no.. ESPECIALLY when it is unclear to me, so that I keep my eyes on Him and continually seek Him...and not be distracted by the silly problems that have in the last couple of months seemed to come one after the other after the other. I can only hope that God has something awesome in store for me, because you know what they say... the greater the opposition, the greater the blessing.

: )

Who says mommies can't go to Martini Ranch?!

2008-01-27T23:29:00.000-07:00

...and who knows why the hell I am not in bed right now, catching up on some much needed R&R after this crazy weekend.

I always tell myself that I am so over the party scene...I absolutely HATE getting home late and being tired all the next day..and we all know I can't sleep because I've got the rugrats insisting I need to know that they, like, ate cereal without getting milk on the table. Or something. It's always something. Bless their little hearts.

I savor my "alone time"..without it, I might end up in a madhouse. So when two of my good friends (single, hott, no-ties friends, mind you) insisted that I accompany them to Denver for a GNO last night, I hesitated. I just reeeaaallllllllly didn't want to go. It was already 10:30, and I was ready to go home and plant myself on the couch for an hour, watch some high quality tele (aka the 9 News weather...I know, I have issues), and go to bed at a reasonable time.

Well, we were all at my neighbor's house for a wine party and they kept insisting that I come with them and I kept finding excuses not to go...(don't want to drive home from Denver alone at 2 a.m., tired, needed to wash my hair...you know, those kinds of good excuses). I finally said, "If Rhea (my 37-year-old self-proclaimed sleep-loving neighbor..we love her) goes, I'll go," totally not expecting her to say, "I'm in!" And better yet, not only did she decide she wanted to go, my other neighbor, who is 3 months pregnant, offered to come with us and drive. GASP. So, really, I had no choice but to cave. I mean, seriously.

So, to make a long story short, we ended up at a place called the Martini Ranch in Denver, and it ended up being a blast! They were playing good music, there were other "older" (older meaning older than 25) people there (not just a bunch of rowdy college kids...no offense to any of you rowdy college kids that might happen to read this..I think it's safe to say that most of us have been there...). It was just fun. A little surreal and slightly creepy that I was out at a bar in Denver with my married mommy neighbors at 1 a.m., but fun nonetheless.

And all this after having had a day full of work, hip hop class, Mcdonalds, birthday party, and a wine party. Not to mention the late but extremely fun night we had on Friday for Michelle's birthday....

All I can say is I am done with trying to pretend I can hang with the party crowd..well, until March at least. Girls, get ready for some major excitement. I'm not letting any of you off the hook!!!!!!

love!

Nighty night.

Changing lives and things of that nature.

2008-01-23T22:50:00.000-07:00

So, I know what you all are thinking...blogging again!?! Doesn't she have anything else to do? Well, the sad truth is that, no...i really don't have anything else to do (short of cooking, cleaning, working, laundry, changing diapers, etc. etc., take your pick)...What it all boils down to is the fact that I am just a huge geek. And, honestly, my life isn't overflowing with exciting events or interesting happenings worth blogging about..but I do have a point to make some of the time, and if you're interested in reading, well, that is great. If not, you may just miss out on the most important insight ever in life. Hehe. Just kidding.

One of my neighbors and I were talking today, and she asked me if I wanted to have a drink after work. I told her I couldn't because I was going to try to get to SIM (youth group at church)this week since I haven't been able to make it in a while and some of the girls were expecting me to be there. She then said, "Well, when you decide you don't want to go at 5:00, let me know and we'll have a drink," to which I responded, "I already told people I was gonna be there, and if I say I am going to do something, I do it." She then asked, "Aren't these the same girls who ditched you on babysitting this week?", implying that since they had not met my expectations and lived up to their word, why should I accomodate them? (For the record, the babysitting thing was a total misunderstanding, my bad...she definitely didn't ditch me..and also for the record, my neighbor means well, I believe she was just looking out for me when she made that statement).

This question got me to thinking..and thinking...and thinking...aka, overanalyzing the situation.

Why DO I commit my time to these kids, specifically the girls? Is it because they shower me with affection? Um, no. Not even. Is it because they make me feel young again? Well, we could be hitting a nerve with this one..but no. Is it because I see in them raw potential of what they could possibly be and the plan God has for their lives? Yes. Is it because they need people who they can trust who are not their parents and maybe not even their youth leader (sorry Jamie, much love!!!) to set a good example for them? I do believe so. Or is it simply because I have developed a love for them and honestly want to see them thrive? That too.

They may be totally on fire for God, and they may be involved in ministry, and they may have memorized scripture up to their ears, but they are still just kids. And kids need guidance and attention and prayer and a little TLC every once in a while. While I admit that for a while I was feeling silly for going because I don't really have a specific "job", I now know that I am just supposed to be there. I have realized that just them knowing I'm there and available and that I take time out of my endless list of daily to-do's to show up just for them makes a huge difference. It's totally humbling for me because really, when it comes down to it, I don't have all the answers for them and I am not always the perfect role model for them, and I have my own issues to worry about, why take on theirs?

It's given me the opportunity to practice putting myself and my needs on the back burner to be of service to others. It's not always easy, and it's not always fun. But it's always rewarding when you walk away knowing that God may have just used you to plant a seed, or even to literally change a life. Even perhaps by just being there...

And that, my friends, is my deep thought for today. Thanks for listening...er, reading. :)

Romans 8:28...in ALL things...

2008-01-22T22:22:00.001-07:00

As some of you know, the past couple of months have been challenging for me. I won't get into it now, but it's just been crazy, like a domino effect..and it all comes crashing down.

Today, however, I finally had a sense of peace...of actually taking it to the next level...of accomplishing something and knowing that it was all God working through me and no one else, getting me to this place.

I was at practice at the church as usual on a Tuesday and for one of the songs we were having a hard time figuring out the right chords...Jon wanted to capo it but that meant that I had to adjust the chords on the chart to match the capo, something that I understand but have never had to actually do before.

It was taking forever so we just resolved to leave it in the original key and that I would lead it instead of him. You all know I have like, no confidence in myself yet when it comes to singing and playing simultaneously..I do it every week when we practice, but not really without relying on the guitar to fill in the notes on the keys that I miss, and, believe me, I miss a lot of them.. hehehe (if I am getting better at one thing, though, it's covering up my mistakes!!)

But we started playing this particular song, and, amazingly, it seemed to just come so naturally. Yes, I messed up some and I didn't hit every note correctly, but it just felt so good. I actually felt like all my practice, my effort, and my time spent had been paying off, and to see something, even the smallest of things, manifest itself in your life when everything else seems almost hopeless is such an encouragement, and it's instilled in me a glimmer of hope that my persistence in all things will pay off.

Incidentally, had my amazing, awesome,gorgeous, life-saving neighbor (yes, Hailey that would be you..lol) not texted me and offered to watch my kids at the LAST MINUTE, without even knowing I needed help, I probably would not have been able to even get there today...

Coincidence? I think not.

*~Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.~*

Try this if you're looking for a challenge!

2008-01-22T21:47:00.000-07:00

For some reason, I have always found it difficult to get a good portrait of my kids. Several things contribute to the perpetual failure of this monster of a task...either one of them is pouting, or one of them suddenly gets a severe case of ADD, or one of them is beating on one of the others. The last time I took them in for pictures, I swore I would make it a point never to do it again.

Well, that didn't last long. I was looking at the pictures around my house the other day and decided they needed updating, so, my photography skills lacking, I contemplated again putting myself through this torturous fiasco and finally dragged my kids to the mall for an attempt at a photo shoot. And, surprise, they were actually really good..in comparison to past experiences, anyway. We had a hard time getting Ashlyn to smile...no surprise there...and I could tell the employee was a little irked by my nitpicky requests [what can I say, I'm paying probably more money than it's worth as it is! I don't want a crappy picture!!!] But they turned out extremely cute, and I am very happy with them. Mostly because my kiddies just rock in the cute department..:)

Hannah Montana what?

2008-01-10T17:59:00.000-07:00

So, my almost-6-year-old daughter has become infatuated with Hannah Montana..I am talking the show, the clothes, the merch, the music, anything and everything labeled Hannah Montana slash Miley Cyrus. I was skeptical when she first got into it..wasn't sure if the content was appropriate for a 5-year-old because I have seen some Disney shows where the humor is on the verge of being a little too grown up for her [you all know that I'm not incredibly strict about this, but still]... so when Mikayla first asked me to watch Hannah Montana with her a few months ago, I hesitated but gave in. I am happy to report that not only is the show's content very appropriate for a wide range of ages and incorporates a good message in the mix [i.e. doing the right thing in an everyday sitch], it is freakin hilarious!!! Pretty much all the characters on the show have a sense of humor that has me and my daughters rolling every time it's on [yes, that would be at approximately 5:00 and 5:30 daily].

The only problem...Mikayla now thinks she is a southern high school fashion model popstar. I suppose it could be worse, right?! Oh, and I ain't spending $500 bucks a pop to go to her show, either.. hehheh

Increase, Not Decrease

2008-01-04T12:13:00.000-07:00

My dad actually sent this in an email. I thought it was a great encouragement.

I once heard a minister ask someone if they would want their child to be poor, sick and destitute. Of course the answer was no, but this same person believed it was God's will for their child to be crippled. Compassion for the oppressed is always in order. Jesus went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed of the devil. ( Acts 10:38 ) Let's not forget that the author of sickness, disease and poverty is not our Father. They are from the god of this world; the devil. Jesus said, " If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?" How dare us believe our "Father" wants us to be sick and/or poor. That is a spirit of religion and the Bible doesn't teach this. Yes, we are to have faith in every situation, ( Phil 4:12 ) but it's Gods perfect will that we come to a place of increase in our bodies, our souls and our spirits. God desires to bless and prosper us in every area of our lives in order that we may be a blessing to others. You can't give encouragement when you're depressed or minister healing when you're sick in bed or give finances for the spread of the gospel and to feed and clothe the poor when you're broke. False humility will be broken in the end times church and faith in the truth of God's abundance and blessing will come to pass.

8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

9 As it is written:

“He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor;
his righteousness endures forever.” ( 2Cor 9: 8,9 )

http://www.kcm.org/studycenter/devotional/f2f/index.php?l=eng

Genesis 12:1-4
1 The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you.
2 “I will make you into a great nation
and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
and you will be a blessing.
3 I will bless those who bless you,
and whoever curses you I will curse;
and all peoples on earth
will be blessed through you.”
4 So Abram left, as the Lord had told him; and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he set out from Haran.

Genesis 13:1-4
1 So Abram went up from Egypt to the Negev, with his wife and everything he had, and Lot went with him.
2 Abram had become very wealthy in livestock and in silver and gold.
3 From the Negev he went from place to place until he came to Bethel, to the place between Bethel and Ai where his tent had been earlier
4 and where he had first built an altar. There Abram called on the name of the Lord.

And a New Year Begins...

2008-01-01T11:29:00.001-07:00

2007 is gone, and 2008 is here to stay for 364 more days. It's amazing to me how quickly time flies. I clearly remember when 1990 came and it was the coolest thing ever that we were now in a new decade. What about when everyone was making such a big deal about the world coming to an end in the year 2000? And then, seriously, it's like all the new years after that have pretty much blended together.

Yet 2007 has been a learning year for me. I feel like I have gone through so much, some good, some bad, but I try to make everything a learning experience and a stepping stone in my walk in life.

In 2007, I learned:

*How to use html

*To make the most out of all situations

*To be careful who you trust

*That playing piano and singing simultaneously is not as easy as it looks but it's still fun

*That vodka can be good when you use it correctly to make martinis

*That things don't always go the way you want them to

*That taking risks is not always to your benefit

*That taking risks is the best way to find yourself and who you are in God's eyes

*That just when you think things are going your way, something else happens to derail you

*That conflict can always be resolved, and, better yet, used for good

*That children grow up and become their own

*How to make latkes

*How to know when a situation needs to be reevaluated

*How to be a positive influence on family and friends

*That even heavy-duty SUVs are no match for winter driving conditions

*That getting an SUV repaired after a mishap in winter driving conditions costs an arm and a leg

*That giving thanks to God for protection (heart, mind, and body) is extremely important

*That Vitamin Water is the answer to all thirst

*That 30-second microwave steam-in-the bag rice is an excellent choice in all last minute dinner preparations

*That 29 might be a worse age than 30 because of the anticipation you feel all year about turning 30

*That tatooes are addictive

*And finally, that people will continue to disappoint, but God will never fail you

Here's to a great 2008! Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-26T00:01:00.000-07:00

The madness of the season is largely over, and I can't say that I am disappointed! It's been crazy, as always, with trying to juggle work, shopping, parties, etc., all while trying to focus on the true meaning of Christmas, [the birth of Christ] and avoiding the greed & commercialism that seemingly gets worse each year.

But this Christmas has been very strange for me, with unforseen problems that arose in the last month, some family getting ready to move out of state and this quite possibly being our last Christmas with them here in Colorado, and just, well, lots of things being different from years past..it just didn't feel like a normal [and I use the term loosely] Christmas. It's been bittersweet...

Overall it was still enjoyable, and the kids of course had a blast.

Oh, and, Hailey, thanks for letting Ashlyn borrow Berlin's dress!!! It was a huge hit! xoxo

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Christmas Morning

Santa was good to them!

And so was Grandpa Z...
Christmas Eve

Cousins ~ Isabella, Ashlyn, & Megan...

aka The Three Stooges

Michael and Allison

Jackson, Ashlyn, & Me

Aren't they adorable?

All the kids...9 to be exact...

Room for one more?!?!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ah, peace...

2007-12-19T10:03:00.000-07:00

It's 10:03 on Wednesday morning and I'm sitting here blogging. It's not that I don't have 248428947 things to do..it's that I have so much to do that I totally feel like I'm shutting down..physically, mentally...

I love this time of year.but for some reason this year seems harder than in the past. I have something going on EVERY DAY. I love it, yet it's taxing. Writing, getting my thoughts out of my head and into print, believe it or not, actually helps me unwind...hence the blog.

So in a minute I am going to go and get myself and my baby girl ready to go to a gingerbread decorating party for Mikayla's kindergarten class...I fear this will be the last time I will get to sit down and do nothing for more than 10 minutes for at least a couple of days.

In the end, it all seems worth it...that is why I do it every year. The fun, the excitement, the memories, and smiles on my kids' faces..

So for now, au rivoire..wish me luck in constructing the best milk-carton gingerbread house ever known to man.

Singing and dancing? Must run in the family....:]]

2007-12-16T21:23:00.000-07:00

These past couple of weeks have been busy! Josh had a choir concert last Thursday and Mikayla had a ballet recital last Saturday. They both did a great job, and I am so proud. See for yourself! [P.S., that feather thing I blogged about in a previous blog, yeah, that's the white thing you see on Mik's costume...not a bad job at all if I do say so... :)].

My kid's a comedian

2007-12-13T13:40:00.000-07:00

He made this at school....

Gosh, I'm lame.

2007-12-11T21:56:00.001-07:00

Will someone please tell me where in the Complete Guide to Being a Mom does it say, "A mother must exhibit sufficient mending skills"? Mikayla has a ballet recital on Saturday, and at dress rehearsal the other day the teacher (who is excellent and who I really like, so don't go telling her otherwise, please) tells us that she wants us to sew a feather boa-ish-type doo-dad on our girls' costumes for the recital. Well, here is the problem. I suck at sewing. I hate it. Seriously, there is a reason I did not become a seamstress. I am not sure why such passionate hatred for the act, but I do know that as I type this, the costume and the fluffy feather boa, not 3 feet away, taunt me like a bully on the playground. So i better go freakin sew it on before it kicks my ass. Or something.

:)

It's snowing and I really have nothing better to do..

2007-12-08T22:48:00.000-07:00

You know those cheesy Christmas movies where it's a perfect snowy day, the kids come in from playing outside and drink their hot cocoa, and everyone huddles around the fire, content, cozy, relaxed, and perfectly happy with their lives...

Yeah, not so much. After working for the first half of the day, I thought it would be a nice gesture to let my kids go outside and play in the snow. Seeing their bright red rosy cheeks and teeny icicles forming on their jackets, I thought it would be great if they could come inside and warm up with a cup of hot chocolate. So I put the water on to boil. When it was ready, I called them in. This is where the chaos begins.

They came in, soaking wet, and proceeded to peel off layers of wet clothing and throw them on the wood floor (damn this floor is causing me grief lately!) Then Josh came into the kitchen and picked up the plastic mug that I had chosen especially for Ashlyn (see blog about the snow globe below...ahahha). I corrected him and asked him to give it to her. Being the great kid and loving big brother that he is, he immediately tried to give it to her..he slid it across the table to her, and I saw it coming...he had pushed just slightly too hard. It teetered on the edge of the table, and, after a split second of thinking that perhaps we were safe, the entire mug toppled off the table, and hot, brown, liquid chocolate with mini marshmallows splashed all over the chair, the wall, and the floor (again with the floor! Maybe it's a sign?!?!)

This incident set off an afternoon of chaos, and my hopes of living out the cheesy, jolly Christmas movie for the day quickly evaporated. I endeavored to have my kids help me wrap some gifts for their cousins, and it took approximately 1 hour to wrap 3 gifts due to my constant screaming, "No Ashlyn, you can't wrap the kitty!!!", and, "No Mikayla, the tape goes on the gift wrap, not up your nose!!!" It wasn't until I finally decided enough was enough and put on How the Grinch Stole Christmas and plopped them in front of the TV set that they settled down so I could attempt to cook a decent dinner (I don't care what the supermoms say, the television IS a great babysitter!).

So that was my day. Let's hope tomorrow brings better things. Oh, I already know it will because my mom and I are making latkes...provided my kiddies can control themselves and not somehow sabatoge the potatoes...believe me, I wouldn't put it past them. : )

My Little Man

2007-12-08T14:37:00.001-07:00

It's funny how a little kid can change your thinking so much....

My 8-year-old, Josh, and I were talking today, and he said, "Mommy, the mean neighbor was outside and I said hi to him, and he said hi back to me."

Now, I don't even really know this "mean" neighbor, so I can't say that he is really mean. I do know, however, that he and his wife have not exactly been the most gracious to us or to my other neighbors. I seriously have not spoken more than 5 words to them, and we moved into our houses on the same day almost 4 years ago! And I can honestly say that I have tried to break the ice, but for some reason they just won't cave.

Anyway, a few months back, the guy yelled at Josh to get off of his lawn. Josh came and told me, almost in tears, and of course, my maternal instincts kick in and all I want to do is give this guy a piece of my mind. Well, those of you who know me know that it has to be reallly bad for it to come down to that. I told Josh that the next time he did that to come talk to me instead of picking on an innocent kid. Needless to say, Josh has been really careful not to step foot in his lawn again since.

But today, when he told me about saying hi to this neighbor who almost brought him to tears, an enormous sense of guilt rushed over me...It does say in the bible to love your enemies...pray for those who persecute you...etc.. And I realized this is the best way to put this into practice. But instead, I said some not so nice things and wrote them off on my "who cares" list. And this right in front of my impressionable child.

But God gave him a good heart, and apparently I did something right. It's amazing to see him growing so much, and all the hard work to teach him to do what's right is paying off.

The Snowglobe Incident

2007-12-04T21:59:00.000-07:00

Last night I was going through some of our boxes of Christmas stuff and I took out this enormous snow globe that we had gotten as a gift a few years back from some friends. It was actually really cute, the kids loved it...it had a Santa's workshop theme to it, and you could spin the base to wind it up and it played some Christmas song. Okay, so it was cute for like the first 2 seconds...

Anyway, I took it out and put it on one of the end tables in my living room as I went through the rest of the stuff. About 5 minutes later, I hear a huge CRASH. I jumped up with reflexes belonging only to a mother and, lo and behold, Ashlyn had dropped the darn thing on the wood floor in the dining room..and there she stood, in the middle of it all, surrounded by shards of glass and who knows what kind of poisonous liquid that was in that thing.

She was screaming bloody murder, so my first reaction was to check her for any blood.. Luckily, there was none (lucky for her because she was not hurt and lucky for me because I freeze at the sight of blood) and she escaped the entire experience unscathed. I quickly whisked her away from the scene and proceeded to survey the damage. The floor was covered in the aforementioned unidentified liquid laden with glitter and the glass had shattered into 34097332975 pieces; I think I found at least 4 shards even today. The floor now has an extra gash in it and the glitter is literally adhered to the wood. It's going to be a fun time trying to restore it back to its normal state!

Of course, I am so thankful that Ashes wasn't hurt. The floor (though costly) is replaceable. Ashlyn is not, and God forbid anything ever happened to her, or the other two, for that matter. I mean, if she would have tried to walk or run away out of fear when she dropped it, she could have stepped or fell on the sharp glass and really hurt herself.

It's just another reminder of how valuable they are, no matter how frustrated we as parents can get sometimes with them, and that we instinctually would do anything at any time to ensure that they are safe and protected. And, sadly, sooner rather than later, I dare say that I may really miss all the innocent mischievousness of the terrible twos.

Hehehe...or not. :D

Current dilemma

2007-12-01T21:53:00.000-07:00

So, I decided to start this blog because blogging on myspace just seemed..well, for lack of a better description, not as cool as this. Whoever feels it necessary to actually read my blogs will see that I can sometimes be slightly bipolar..ahahah ;) Tonight I'm in a venting/sorting-out-feelings type of mood.

Really, I live a pretty boring life. Nothing seriously out of the ordinary ever happens to me (knock on wood), and I like it that way. I like being there, aknowledged, but not totally alone in the spotlight. The segment at church today was entitled "Get in the Picture", with the pastor encouraging everyone to get involved in some aspect of the church (missions, worship, childen's ministry, whatever), and that being involved produces a sense of adequacy and worthiness, as well as the satisfaction of helping and giving and being effective in whatever area you are called to. Well, I couldn't help but think to myself that I have been involved, very much so, ever since I returned to Vinelife in 2002. I started by working in the nurseries once a month, and that evolved into attending a small group. I then joined the worship team in 2004 while continuing to work in the nursery once a month, and sometimes even more depending on the need. I quit the nursery after little Ashes came along and after a summer of volunteering every other week but continued with the worship ministry. In 2006, I began working with the high-schoolers while still singing every other Sunday, and this is where I have remained since. Clearly, I have kept myself quite involved, not really for myself, but because I feel this is where I am best utilized and most effective for now.

So, back to "getting in the picture." I have been in the picture. But I feel like (and my friend and I were laughing about this during service but it does honestly strike a chord in me) I have been the unidentified person on the very edge of the picture that gets cut off, like the only thing you can see of me in the picture is one side of my face, and you would only know it was me if you really knew me and what I looked like but a stranger would be totally oblivious.

Now, I can't decide if I like that feeling or not. Because on one hand, I am perfectly happy with staying under the radar. That way I don't have to worry about making a mistake or looking like an idiot. On the other hand, though, it is nice to feel that sense of being appreciated every once in a while. And recent events have actually led to confirmation that, yes, I am where I need to be. But still...

One lesson I have definitely learned, though, in the past few months, is that when you are stirred up, when you have that tug that won't go away, when you are uneasy and discontent inside about a certain issue, you must act, lest that sensation turn into bitterness and resentment. And staying under the radar just doesn't cut it anymore. So I guess I need to do something more, to make sure that I am really in the picture and not the cut-off, unidentified person on the edge of it.

But what?!?!

I blog, therefore I am..!?!?

2007-11-30T23:26:00.001-07:00

Well, I finally did it...Yes, I am now officially a blogger. Here's to a blog-filled future...